FOR THE MOMENT INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THESE BUREAUCRATS

' . . . the planet is becoming supersaturated with displaced humanity. The romance, so powerful a motivation not long ago, has as a result long been entirely stripped from the process of today's travel'

-Simon Winchester, Worlds to Explore

I did not choose to begin with a lament from Simon Winchester because our trip to Rio Grande do Sul ever promised a truly romantic adventure. It did not. We travelled by rented Hyundai HB20, not by donkey or camel or canoe. We even, by generous definition, stayed in a hotel in Torres. But, in reflection, this trip had many of the makings of what great travel is constructed of.

I struggled, on returning to Sao Paulo, to explain what exactly the trip was. What did you see? What did you do? These basics were challenging to answer, without simply (and unsatisfactorily) responding "we travelled". That, as it turns out, is precisely what we did. We had a blast. And we did it despite having the primary event we were aiming for (the Torres Hot-Air Balloon Festival) being something of a bust.

It was a great trip because we saw the place as it really is. We saw Gramado, a mountain tourist town of German extraction, in something of an off-season on an off weekend. The Santa-Land amusement park was nearly empty, and we had the chocolate museum to ourselves. There were no tour buses on the roads through the wine-country, and we ate risotto overlooking a vineyard without hearing ceaseless, buzzword-laced descriptions of the wine. The carnival rides at the balloon festival were populated by four American diplomats and dozens of local Torresian adolescents. In short, it was seeing the place as the people there know it. And it was great.

Of course, Gramado is gimmicky. It's most comparable to Park City (both even have film festivals), but to compare the two is to remove the careful "snobbery meets a real mining town" gravitas of Park City and replace it with a sort of "Disney presents Park City" replica. For those of us who are essentially 8 years olds, it was full of marvelously low-budget amusements: Dino-land, Santa-land, giant statues of fondue pots, car museums with 6 cars, and a trip around a world entirely composed of chocolate, to name a few. 

Permanently Frosty

In Santa Land Alison and Ariel finally found a house their size

100 pounds of chocolate elephant

The main goal of the trip, if there was one, was the balloon festival at Torres. Contrary to hopeful speculation, the balloons were too professional to allow rides, or to even fly on Sunday. So we saw only two balloons airborne, and a few others who inflated at night as part of a gimmicky spectacle with multiple countdowns but no actual flying. Thankfully there was a carnival. And, as those of you who have been to the Ute Stampede or Heber Rodeo with me know, I find carnivals delightful. So we hit the rides. I'm sure all of them were fully inspected and maintained by professionals.

If you look closely on the left, you'll see a blur of Chris and Alison in the air above their seats

In short, good people and pleasant surroundings made for something unexpected . . . and unforgettable. But I couldn't tell you why.

Alison finally finds the perfect home

Even the banana is chocolate

Rockin' Santa on vacation in Gramado.

You guessed it . . . chocolate

LITTLE BIG WORLD

Itu is, to quote the immortal Richard Norris, "regionally prominent". It should be regionally prominent for its moderate role in Sao Paulo politics during the period of the young republic. As a coffee and dairy farming town, it was the location of several high-powered meetings between the plantation owners who became the aristocracy of the crownless post-1889 Brazil. Its museum, which recounts the many periods of Itu's historical significance by means of painted tile walls, tries its best to lend some credibility to Itu's fame.

No, Itu's fame stems from a drive by the late Simplicio, a Ituan humorist who, after installing himself as the Tourism Secretary for the city, determined to truly put Itu on the map. The name "Itu" comes from a tupi word which means "big", and Secretary Simplicio determined that the world needed Itu to be the "capital of big things".

O Secretario was tremendously successful, erasing Itu's history in favor of whimsical leviathans. Every Paulistano knows Itu as the "place where everything's big", and indeed, many things are big. Popsicles sold there must be over 1 foot in size. The traffic light can be seen from 5 blocks away. The phone booth in the central park is taller than the trees which surround it. My hat goes off to the hero Simplicio, for he has truly put his charming town on the map.

Not sure what this was . . . on the way to a farm we found a floating glacier of what is either the hardiest ice within 1000 miles or industrial runoff.

This llama was 23 feet tall. Or not. He was just a normal llama.