Maps

Monday, January 2, 2012

HISTORY WILL LONG REMEMBER THE BATTLE OF ROW 7

I was flying on Virgin America recently and it dawned on me that Richard Branson has made a great airline, but unfortunately can't always screen those who sit next to me. It would be nice if he could, because it would make his (well, 30% his) airline much more enjoyable. Instead, I was forced to battle battle for 5 hours for the privilege of resting my arm. I had the window seat, which I thought would be a naturally defensible position. I was not, however prepared for the multi-prong attack being staged. First was the wheezing. The couple next to me spent the entire flight coughing up anything that would come out. The biological attack was just the warm-up. The high pitched, repetitive, cute talking was the real beginning of the siege. It was like someone talking to a kitten or a puppy (and I feel qualified to speak on how we communicate with adorable pets), only there wasn't a kitten or a puppy in our row. Just two grown men. By iteration five of the overzealous show yawn and "I'm looking forward to this six hour nap" I had to put my book down and take corrective action: "Excuse me, ma'am, when precisely are you planning on beginning this nap?" The nap, of course, was just a cover for an egregious incursion over the armrest that left me with about half a seat and no access to the button to lean my chair back or to the bathroom. I was trapped. I would like to say I had some sort of valorous reconquista of my Alsatian armrest, but in reality, there was not much I could do without upsetting the beast, so I just Chamberlained my way through the flight. Not my finest moment as a human being, but sometimes you have to know when you're beaten.

And just for Richard: Top 10 Plane Fly-bys (not the best, but it's something) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjqJGpxvHRg&feature=related

What I'm listening to right now:
Since I was on an airplane a lot, there will be more than usual:
The Gulag Orkestar and Brandenberg by Beirut, on the Gulag Orkestar
Easy Muffin by Amon Tobin, on Bricolage
Basique by Little People, on Mickey Mouse Project
Chapel Song by We Are Augustines, on Rise Ye Sunken Ships





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